Letter to 18 year old me

finally your legal to drink! this year is an important year, you have applied for uni, coventry isn’t it, you get accepted. so don’t panic too much even with the rubbish grades you got.
this year is the year mum and dad get a divorce. it is going to destroy you, and everything you once knew is going to be muddled, mum is going to start dating a guy called James, your going to treat him in the worst way possible, don’t, because in years to come you will relay on him. he’s actually a good person.
its been 7 years since you last saw or spoke to Danny, and he’s going to make another guest appreance in your life, in fact, your going to start dating him. be careful.. he will forever use the fact you were a “bet” against you and by that you were a bet to see how fast he could get into your knickers, yes thats right! you didn’t read that wrong, so whatever you do, don’t give it up easily. be prepared! in June your going to find out your pregnant. now listen carefully, its going to be a shock, its going to change everything that you have planned but you can do this. you are a strong girl a couple of things

  1. DO NOT text your mum that you are pregnant while she is away, you will regret it, you will forever ask yourself if she would have taken it better if you had done it face to face
  2. mum will say you did it on purpose to get back at her and dad for breaking up, we know you didn’t we know that it just happened, but honestly this baby isn’t a mistake and she will make you who you are

I know you won’t but go to university, you can complete the first half year and then you can take a year out and have the baby and then go back, because if you don’t, well we end up working in Homebase for the next however many years and trust me that isn’t something we want to be doing!

in October, Clinton will pass away, Danny will blame you because you had an argument and he stayed at your house, let him go, let him go and be with his brother, because maybe if you had let him go, then Clinton would have been saved and he would still be here today. if that doesn’t happen if Clinton still passes away, you need to be head strong, you need to look after Danny. you need to be prepared, he will turn to drugs, he will beat himself up day and night and he will push you away. you need to be strong. chances are you will break up because it all becomes too much the late nights out the not knowing when Danny will be home and the lack of help and commitment from him. but be strong, you have to be otherwise you will melt and we don’t need that.

this year will take a battering but next year is a bright one. everything will get better and you will become a better person in the long run. you will go on to have a beautiful health baby girl, called Chloe-mae. she will be tiny and you won’t know what the hell you are doing but you have amazing people around you, she will be your ground and she will be the reason you smile and go on every day, cherish everything and don’t take anything for granted. everyday with her and every day living is a blessing.

just know that no matter what, we are strong amazing hard working, people. we have an amazing family and we are loved!

un till next time

Holly

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